Parenting Your Child Effectively

Sometimes we need something right now to help us calm an emotional discussion with our children. When things are difficult, we are most likely to "lose our cool" and say or do things that we wish later we hadn't. We need something that settles the conflict without either the child or the parent feeling put down. There are a number of guidance principles that help us discipline in stressful times.

Guidance Principle

Help your children feel lovable and capable. In this discussion, we refer to a person's feeling of being lovable and capable as an IALAC (I am lovable and capable). An IALAC is a little bit like your spirit or sense of humor- no one can see it, but it's an important part of who you are. People need a big, strong IALAC to be able to love others, accept and receive love and feel good about themselves. Your IALAC gets bigger or smaller because of what happens to you. IALAC is another word for self-esteem.